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I am a retired English teacher and department head, the mother of three, grand mother of three, and have been married to the same man for 42 years. I subscribe to Dr. PM Forni's concept of Civility. I was born in South Philadelphia and grew up in the 'burbs. I love soft pretzels and cheesesteaks, the Phillies, the Eagles, and San Diego. I love being Mom, Aunt Kathy, Nona Kathy, and Teacher. I spend a lot of time in my gardens in the spring and summer, and in the winter I plan what I'm going to plant. I also am an avid reader and photographer.

Translator!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Word

I love word play -- always have.  And yearly, The Washington Post Mensa Invitational -- which may or may not actually be associated with The Washington Post, celebrates it.  Here is one of their lists...  If Bilbo already posted this, my sincere apologies.  If he didn't,  "Gotcha, Bill!"  :)
                         
                                                                            
 1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject  
 financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.                     
                                                                            
 2. Ignoranus : A person who's both stupid and an asshole.                  
                                                                            
 3. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you  
 realize it was your money to start with.                                   
                                                                            
 4. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.                     
                                                                            
 5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright  
 ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign 
 of breaking down in the near future.                                       
                                                                            
 6. Foreploy : Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of      
 getting laid.                                                              
                                                                            
 7. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.                    
                                                                            
 8. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person  
 who doesn't get it.                                                        
                                                                            
 9. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.    
                                                                            
 10. Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)     
                                                                            
 11. Karmageddon : It's like, when everybody is sending off all these       
 really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, 
 a serious bummer.                                                          
                                                                            
 12. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day         
 consuming only things that are good for you.                               
                                                                            
 13. Glibido : All talk and no action.                                      
                                                                            
 14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they 
 come at you rapidly.                                                       
                                                                            
 15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've  
 accidentally walked through a spider web.                                  
                                                                            
 16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your  
 bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.                    
                                                                            
 17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the 
 fruit you're eating.                                                      

12 comments:

Jay said...

I think I'll try to find a way to work each of these words into conversations today. "Ignoranus" will probably be the easiest.

George said...

Thanks for sharing these wonderful 'words' with us.

Lena said...

Very fun to read! Thanks!

Linda Reeder said...

Well, that was just a lot of fun!

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Cute, Kathy.... I love Number 16..... FUNNY!!!

Thanks for sharing.
Hugs,
Betsy

Deb said...

A hoot! Reintarnation is my favorite!

Cheryl said...

I'm not sure which was my favorite. These are great. Have you made up any of your own words? You're so good with 'the language'.

Palm Springs Savant said...

These are Hilarious, Kathy, you put a smile on my face by posting this.

-Rick

Maggie said...

Aren't those just great. Left me with a jaw ache from smiling. LOL

jane said...

haha! thank you for this!

Pat Myers said...

Actually, there isn't any "Mensa Invitational," but The Washington Post does have a wonderfully clever humor contest called The Style Invitational. And two Invitational contests from 1998 are the sources of many of the neologisms in the list above. (But not all: For example, "decafalon" isn't a one-letter change from "decathlon," is it? Or "caterpallor"?)

Much better to see the the current Invitational -- every week at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. We've had more than 600 contests since the ones above! The Style Invitational is published every Saturday in The Post's Style (features) section, and every Friday afternoon at about 3:30 Eastern time. There are neologism contests regularly, and lots of other sources of humor as well.

For example, we asked readers recently to coin a new word or term that was a palindrome (it's spelled the same backward and forward). Here are some of the top winners (results printed Oct. 16):

AHA HAHA: When you finally get the joke. (Tom Flaherty, Culpeper, Va.)

EGADAGE: "Heck," "darn," etc. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn)

NAMETAG-GATEMAN: The conference organizer who won't let you enter until you've ruined your jacket with adhesive paper. (Dion Black, Washington)

AMENEMA: Blessed relief. (Anne Morgan, Fairfax, a First Offender)

DROWSYSWORD: Impotence. (Roy Ashley, Washington)

See the rest of the winners and learn how to enter the current contest at washingtonpost.com/styleinvitational. Or you can become a fan of "Washington Post Style" on Facebook (go to facebook.com/wapostyle ) and you'll get a link to the Invitational when it's posted. I hope you become a regular reader and maybe even a regular entrant.

Best, The Empress of The Style Invitational

The Washington Post

beachgirl said...

You had me going on these. Well done.