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I am a retired English teacher and department head, the mother of three, grand mother of three, and have been married to the same man for 42 years. I subscribe to Dr. PM Forni's concept of Civility. I was born in South Philadelphia and grew up in the 'burbs. I love soft pretzels and cheesesteaks, the Phillies, the Eagles, and San Diego. I love being Mom, Aunt Kathy, Nona Kathy, and Teacher. I spend a lot of time in my gardens in the spring and summer, and in the winter I plan what I'm going to plant. I also am an avid reader and photographer.

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Thursday, January 15, 2015

Finding Our Joy

Right about now, 43 years ago Richard Anderson and I were married.  We gave no thought, at least I didn't, to how long we would be married, even though we both said 'Until death do us part."  It seems like yesterday, and yet it doesn't.  

Three wonderful, grown children and three sweet grandchildren later here we are.  Our secret?  We don't have one -- except maybe not having expectations and in having an uncanny ability to adjust and re-adjust.  Has it been an easy ride?  Hell, no.  We've had our share of 'knock down/drag-outs',  in-law difficulties (his parents; not mine), of many, many joys, some tempered with sadness, of  irritations, of crises, and with all the beauty and glory of raising three teenagers.  And actually, our middle child could easily have counted for two.  Luckily, I didn't kill her when she was 15 as she's a wonderful daughter, friend, and mother of her own little character.

We had made plans to have lunch today at Thames Oyster House in Baltimore, but as in  our life together, fate has intervened.  As I write this, Richard's 90-year old father lies in the hospital.  He has been there for a week, has pneumonia, and has refused food and medication.  He will be discharged from the hospital into the care of hospice in his home tomorrow, where in his lucid moments, he insists he be taken.  And so we acquiesce. And so we adjust.  We will celebrate our milestone tonight at dinner.

11 comments:

Bilbo said...

Congratulations on your anniversary. This year, Agnes and I will celebrate 33 years in which she's refrained from killing me. And, like you, I'm glad that I refrained from strangling my maddening daughter, who is now the mother of two wonderful daughters of her own. We are sorry about Richard's father. At the moment, Agnes's father is back in the hospital, and we're wondering if he's really going to be able to live on his own once he's released - he's firmly convinced he can, but it's not so. Agnes will probably be going over in about two weeks or so to see how things are going and what we'll be able to do. So we feel the pain, but also share your joy at a long and (for the most part) happy marriage. Best wishes, now and always!

Ruth Hull Chatlien said...

I'm so sorry to hear about Dick's father. It always puts things into sobering perspective when the good and bad come hand in hand.

I hope you do have time to celebrate because 43 years is quiet a milestone. Congratulations.

Linda Reeder said...

Life happens on the road to living it. We'll be at 46 years in March, and my sister just scheduled a family reunion for that day. I guess we'll have a BIG party. It's our day to day life that we celebrate anyway.
We just lost a family member this last week. It's sad, and especially hard when, as in your case, it gets complicated.
Happy Anniversary, and congratulations on 43 years together.

Kay said...

Happy anniversary, Kathy. We just celebrated our 42nd anniversary this month. Marriage takes work, but luckily I was blessed with the most wonderful in-laws. I'd like to wish you another year to celebrate happiness and a job well done.

forsythia said...

Happy Anniversary, Kathy. Sounds like it's been a happy journey, all in all. What more can one ask? We, too, had a very difficult child who somehow brought us together. Our lives would have been very different had we not had her, and yet, I think we gained a depth of understanding and an appreciation for the good things in life because of her, in spite of her, who knows?

Mage said...

So sorry about your father in law. Pleased to read about such a wonderful anniversary. Nice to see notes from you again.

Betsy Adams said...

Hi there, I read this after you wrote it (and then of course, we emailed), but I wasn't commenting when I was in such horrible pain... Today though, I'm finally getting a little better. SO--here's my belated comment.

Congrats on your anniversary and condolences to you and Richard over the illness and then death of his father.

Hugs,
Betsy

Mage said...

Congratulations on all those wonderful years together. So sorry about his father's illness. You two are grand.

Retired English Teacher said...

I am late reading this. Congrats to you two. I really admire those couples that stay together through thick and thin for all the years you have. It is not an easy task, but the joy of being together after all those years has to be such a sweet joy. (And you have memories of those knock down drag outs to laugh about now.)

I'm sorry to hear of the illness of your father-in-law. These later years are hard as we begin to lose our parents.

Here's to many more years to you two!

Lena said...

Happy 43 Years!!

So sorry to hear about your father in law. Bittersweet day...

I hope you enjoyed your anniversary dinner together.

Kay said...

Happy Anniversary, Kathy! Gracious! We're a year behind you. Isn't it amazing how the years pass so quickly with all the joys and trials of life? So much is luck I think. It was my youngest who counted for 10. Sigh.