About Me

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I am a retired English teacher and department head, the mother of three, grand mother of three, and have been married to the same man for 42 years. I subscribe to Dr. PM Forni's concept of Civility. I was born in South Philadelphia and grew up in the 'burbs. I love soft pretzels and cheesesteaks, the Phillies, the Eagles, and San Diego. I love being Mom, Aunt Kathy, Nona Kathy, and Teacher. I spend a lot of time in my gardens in the spring and summer, and in the winter I plan what I'm going to plant. I also am an avid reader and photographer.

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Monday, December 12, 2016

It's Going to Take Some Time

I'm foregoing a Christmas letter this year.  Maybe because it would read like a page from the Book of Job.

It has been a terrible year:  full of trauma and loss.  I know that we're not the only ones and my prayers go out to all the others who are finding the Christmas joy, still beautiful, still awesome, but a bit contradictory to the way we feel.

And just to clarify, there are still Blessings to be counted:  a wonderful marriage and husband; three gorgeous and kind children (two of whom have WONDERFUL mates) and four grands who are all doing well (my mouth to God's ear), a successful family business, fantastic brothers, and the kindness of many around us.

Yet, the losses are substantial:  my mother three weeks ago; my friend and next door neighbor two weeks ago; and about 13 extended family/close friends before that.  

We managed to decorate the outside of the house, but have skipped the inside...is this a metaphor or what!?   I just don't have time to heal before Christmas.

9 comments:

Kimberly said...

{{{Kathy}}} Let Christmas be your peace, relaxation, and time to continue healing. I am wishing you a much happier, less eventful 2017, so that your healing may continue. Internal healing is the same as the external - if you keep breaking open the scab it takes a long time. And you've had quite a bit of scab jarring events this year, especially leading up to these holidays.

Dave Peterson said...

I completely gave up decorating for the holidays after my wife was killed in a car crash in 2012. Didn't seem to be any point. The inner pain lessens over time but there's still that emptiness. I'm very lucky to have found a new love this year; maybe next year we'll begin new traditions.

Lukilu said...

it takes time..... take the time you need.....

Sally Wessely said...

It takes a lot of time. It also takes a lot of work to heal from such grief. I am so sorry that you have had so many major losses. Honestly, I can't even imagine losing all of those people in one year. Take the time to grieve and to mourn. May peace, comfort, and joy truly be the gifts you receive this year. Hugs.

Brad said...

Grief is such a frustrating emotion, it really ought to come with a Free Pass that gets you off the hook for all kinds of things you don't feel like doing. I hope you can take a little time for you. xoxo Brad

Linda Reeder said...

I am so sorry to hear of all of your losses. I sincerely hope you will be able to find some peace and joy in this holiday season, even if it is in remembering good times with those you have lost.

forsythia said...

I am sorry that all this loss happened in one year. We all know and accept--at least theoretically--that loss is part of life, but so many in such a short span of time seems surreal. The passage of time will surely help, but in the meantime, may you find comfort and joy in the company of your loved ones.

Kay said...

Oh Kathy... I'm so sorry. That was my year last year. Granted, with all the devastation of "he who shall not be named" this has not been a happy year either except that we're expecting our little grandson's visit in a few days.

Betsy Adams said...

Hi Kathy, It was great to hear from you. So sorry about all of the hard times in your life... Sorry to hear about your Mom's death... May God Bless You and the family.

We had a rough Fall here --with a severe drought (lost a lot of things in our gardens) plus the wildfires... Not sure what will be living when Spring gets here...

Another bad news/good news happening in our family this Fall was my eldest son's suicide attempt. Luckily, he didn't go through it --but it has been really hard on the family.. He was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety.. He needed to sever his relationship with his long-term girlfriend and her kids. SO--he is starting life over in Tennessee. He is now at his Dad's --and trying to get well.

Christmas has been wonderful for us though --seeing lots of family and friends... I am hopeful that 2017 will be a good year for us ---and for you and your family. We all do have many blessings for sure. Life is just so precious.

Hugs,
Betsy