When a Good Plan Comes Together

The high school where I began teaching in the early 90's was an 'Open Spaced,' horse shoe-shaped environment. The library was situated in the middle of the second floor surrounded by a hallway; the classrooms (also open) were along the outside of the horse shoe separated into 'areas' by full or half walls. This was good for lots of reasons: the library was the center of the community and we could hold meetings there with the student body (we had only about 600 students) standing along the rail; we held concerts in the library and again all could attend and participate or not. It was also good from the stand point that we (the teachers) could see almost the whole school at a quick glance. Teaching is largely a solitary profession--one closes the door and deals with goals, lessons, disciplining within the four walls of the classroom. In an open space school, I never felt that sense of isolation: I was part and parcel of a powerful community of educators. Moreso, we were one large family. The open space obviously had negatives as well, but the negative aspects are for another blog. I loved teaching there and have many fond memories.

One time my ninth-grade English students were working on research in the glass enclosed research section of the library. After working with a few individual students I began to realize there were more kids in there than in my class -- a lot more! The stinkers had invited friends! I stood by the entrance taking a quick mental roll call and then in my best teacher voice (they used to ask me to do announcements when the PA system went down) I said, "Many of you do not belong in here. Those of you who do have work to do; those of you who do not have five seconds to depart before I begin handing out consequences!" Sternly, I pointed up to their exit route and with that gesture, as if to punctuate the end of my sentence, there occurred the loudest, earth-trembling clap of thunder we had ever heard. The kids all jumped; somehow I retained my outward cool, standing my ground pointing with both arms to the exit. As the last student hurriedly filed out, she turned to me and said, "You're good!" It's great when Mother Nature backs us up...

Hanging Out the Shingle

It was cold here today and we saw our first flurries. I ran errands, began food shopping for Thanksgiving, and stopped in at a brand new Starbuck's to find they won't be open until tomorrow morning :(. (Well, the door was open and the lights were on!!)
Yesterday, I met a childhood friend for lunch. Mel and I attended elementary school together at a parochial school near Philadelphia. We also attended a small, all-girl, "convent" high school taught by the Sisters of the Holy Child. Mel graduated from there but after one year, I left to go to public school. Several years ago, I learned she was living in Maryland and since then we meet for lunch several times a year. We laugh, we talk about our children, our lives - then and now. The common denominator between us is strong. What a blessing to have a friend like this in my life. One who knew me as my nascent me! Our day together got me thinking about friendship...
Some time ago someone asked me what I did for fun. This was in response to a comment I had made about feeling a bit lonely. I told her I chaperoned dances and football games. She said that was work and repeated her question.
"What about friends?" she asked.
"What about them?" I said.
"Do you have any?"
I actually had to stop and think. There were people from work with whom I was very close, but the friendships didn't extend beyond school. There were many with whom I was acquainted, but very few were actually close friends. My husband and I busily traveled to and from field hockey games, horse shows, lacrosse games, and band concerts for our kids. I also served as an elected official in our community for quite a few years. Frankly, I cherished my alone time: reading, gardening, doing crossword puzzles, walking and working out. But, at that point came the epiphany: I couldn't have it both ways!!! If I wanted friends, I had to 'hang out the shingle.'
I wonder how many of us unconsciously hide the "shingle" and then suffer feeling alone? Since that pivotal conversation, I'm more aware of the "shingle" -- body language, activity choices. Even the choice to post on a blog is "putting it out there" -- at least with me it has been a real relief from feeling isolated. The 'live feed' and the comments are such a boon, such a connector, such a reminder that there are so many good people to meet, friends to make, viewpoints to appreciate. I still cherish the quiet time; the alone time, but I know how important a balance is.