I've always espoused looking for and finding the joy in all things; that all happenings are blessings, but right now when I tell myself this I want to tell myself to get real.
Suffice to say I'm tired of it all: the constant pain, the extreme effort to do the smallest of tasks like getting up, traveling to the bathroom, washing my face...to say nothing of the monumental effort it takes to get myself into the car or up and down steps. And the list goes on. The only position I can enjoy without much pain is lying on my back and after awhile that gets real old. It probably doesn't help that the only thing on TV during the day is Law And Order and one can only watch so much of these episodes without running for the Prosac.
I'm not denying the progress I've made, the fact that this is temporary and will improve the quality of my life. Right now I'm just emotionally stuck in self-pity. At least with the old, arthritic knee there were breaks in the pain and I enjoyed mobility.
Suffice to say I'm tired of it all: the constant pain, the extreme effort to do the smallest of tasks like getting up, traveling to the bathroom, washing my face...to say nothing of the monumental effort it takes to get myself into the car or up and down steps. And the list goes on. The only position I can enjoy without much pain is lying on my back and after awhile that gets real old. It probably doesn't help that the only thing on TV during the day is Law And Order and one can only watch so much of these episodes without running for the Prosac.
I'm not denying the progress I've made, the fact that this is temporary and will improve the quality of my life. Right now I'm just emotionally stuck in self-pity. At least with the old, arthritic knee there were breaks in the pain and I enjoyed mobility.
