My mom stood in the reception line at our wedding and said, "Hello, I'm Cass, the mother of the bride, and I give this six weeks." She only said it once and was kidding (I think), but she had good reason. I was barely 20 and the eldest of three, all seven and a half years apart: we had all been brought up as only children. Furthermore, she was well aware of the strong-willed daughter she had raised.
Well, that was 36 years ago today. We made it through tough financial times, three children under the age of four, those same three as teenagers (they accused us of stalking them; we said, "Thank you"), seven presidents, several job changes, a serious illness, paying for two college educations, and I could go on ad nauseum.
Why have we made it this far when many of our contemporaries have not? I have no idea. I think marriage is a strange combination of luck -- a veritable crap-shoot, respect for one another, friendship, a bit of passion (although this is often over-counted on; let's face it, if I see something I haven't seen before in 36 years I should probably shoot it), caring and consideration, and a lot of humor. I have learned in 36 years that shutting my mouth is a good thing. We have learned that going to bed angry is a lot better than arguing while tired and saying things we can never take back. We could always talk things out in the clear of day and after a good night's sleep. We have learned that sometimes there are arguments not worth continuing and that flipping a coin is just as productive, if not more so, than battling things out. We have learned the importance of someone's always having our back and the extreme strength of the words, "I'm sorry."
Could we have married other people and lived happy and complete lives? Sure, we could have. Would I have wanted to? No, I think not. We are a good match.
- I am a retired English teacher and department head, the mother of three, grand mother of three, and have been married to the same man for 42 years. I subscribe to Dr. PM Forni's concept of Civility. I was born in South Philadelphia and grew up in the 'burbs. I love soft pretzels and cheesesteaks, the Phillies, the Eagles, and San Diego. I love being Mom, Aunt Kathy, Nona Kathy, and Teacher. I spend a lot of time in my gardens in the spring and summer, and in the winter I plan what I'm going to plant. I also am an avid reader and photographer.