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I am a retired English teacher and department head, the mother of three, grand mother of three, and have been married to the same man for 42 years. I subscribe to Dr. PM Forni's concept of Civility. I was born in South Philadelphia and grew up in the 'burbs. I love soft pretzels and cheesesteaks, the Phillies, the Eagles, and San Diego. I love being Mom, Aunt Kathy, Nona Kathy, and Teacher. I spend a lot of time in my gardens in the spring and summer, and in the winter I plan what I'm going to plant. I also am an avid reader and photographer.

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Saturday, June 5, 2010

The Split

Lots and lots of speculation about the split of Tipper and Al.  One thing I do know -- we'll never really know what went on, and you know what?  It's really none of our concern.  That being said, I can understand why people would want to split even after or especially after such a long time.  I get it.  Any woman who has been with a man for as long a time gets it.
Men are REALLY different from women.  We don't even process information the same way.  Recently, after both hearing the same story from one of our children, and then later discussing the situation, I was forced to ask, "How in the hell did you get that idea from what she just said?"  I mean it's not like she's bilingual or anything!  And the differences don't stop there. 
Ever try to get your husband to go to the doctor?  One time while walking our daughter's dog, my husband fell after the dog took off after a  %^&* rabbit.  He (my husband, not the rabbit) was in pain, yet he got into his car, went off to meetings, and came home five hours later with an ankle the size of Milwaukee.  After he went off to yet another meeting and  was having trouble braking, it occurred to him that maybe his decision had been unwise.  By this time, I was so angry I told him to drive himself to the ER (What?  He was out anyway!) and he did.  He came home three hours later with a soft cast covering his very broken ankle which by that time was too swollen to properly cast.  AND we were three weeks from going on a cruise to Alaska...
And so instead of saying, "But they were married for 40 years", we should be saying, "Of course! They were married for 40 years!"

16 comments:

Purple Flowers said...

How true how true.

Cheryl said...

Good one! Sometimes I think my parents should still get a divorce. It's never too late. Sometimes.

Linda said...

Husbands do speak a different language don't they?

michiganme said...

How true...I've been married 20+ years, and though I'm happy, at this point I admit it's also the path of least resistance. I don't think I would have the initiative to change anything unless I was in an adversarial relationship.

And, to be honest, I was surprised by the split but I wasn't shocked or disappointed. I view them as two intelligent, caring people who both decided this is what they want. And I trust them enough to figure it out for themselves.

Seth M. Ward said...

haha:D Nice post. I think it was the kiss on stage. I think Tipper was shocked by him giving her tonsils a check on national television! You know the funny thing is is that so many people are so concerned about what others are doing they are so distracted on the things that really deserve our attention.....like BP killing our world. Or Israel killing Americans and others trying to bring aid to the Palestinians......

Lena said...

Wonderful post. I could not have put it into words like you did, but feel the exact same way!!

I felt a little sad when I read they were splitting, and not sure why, but I completely understood it.

Gilly said...

Oh yes! Oh yes! we've been married for 50 years come November, and he STILL doesn't understand what I am saying!!! If its not 'lofical' (his definition) he doesn't understand.

I could go on.....

And don't mention men and doctors......

Maggie said...

LOLOL....Oh, I so understand. I'm still laughing as my husband went to the doc to renew a med, and came home with one for high cholestoral and all those yearly, invasive tests he's been avoiding for twenty years.

I'm still sad that Tipper and Al Gore are parting.

怡谷ShanikaMaxey怡谷 said...

Constant dripping wears away the stone. 滴水穿石!加油!.........................

A Slice of My Life said...

Oh, but it's so much more rewarding to worry about other people's problems than look at our own. Geez.

Why ARE men such idiots about the doctor? I just don't get it.

Sweet Virginia Breeze said...

Men and women are totally different. That's what keeps life with them both interesting and irritating. Great post!

George said...

Somehow I feel that the less I say, the better. I did find this to be an interesting post.

jane said...

you always make me smile. you... i remember that my father once thought he was having a heart attack, so he walked the twenty blocks to the hospital! turns out he wasn´t- but we gave him hell for walking instead of getting a cab. men...

beachgirl said...

I like your insight. Probably right on course. It sounds like the whole family is going thru a hard time.
The hardest thing I ever did was walk away from a 24 yr marriage and a 28 yr relationship.
Best thing I ever did too. Now after 8 yrs we are friends and hang out together, do things together and do family things. I hope they find the peace and a fresh start.
I knew I couldn't go another year in the marriage and had no desire to try.

Patty said...

I walked away from a 25 yr marriage and yes it was hard, but sometimes people drift apart and what is love becomes "family love" and not romantic love and we find it is time to move on. I hope that makes sense. Anyway yes I belive me and women do think different. I find that some (not all men) don't listen, they don't look at anything the way we do. But then to hear the guys talk we are the crazy ones ha ha.

Linda Reeder said...

Men are from Mars...., but then I have to admit that the frustration most likely goes both ways, and love and irritation can be part of the same relationship.
I am saddened by the loss of one's life partner after so much has been invested. Hopefully they will still be a part of each other's lives.