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I am a retired English teacher and department head, the mother of three grand mother of four, and have been married to the same man for 52 years. I subscribe to Dr. PM Forni's concept of Civility. I was born in South Philadelphia and grew up in the 'burbs. I love soft pretzels and cheesesteaks, the Phillies, the Eagles, and San Diego. I love being Mom, Aunt Kathy, Nona Kathy, and Teacher. I spend a lot of time in my gardens in the spring and summer, and in the winter I plan what I'm going to plant. I also am an avid reader and photographer.

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Wednesday, December 7, 2011

It's Double-Edged

For some who have never had children or had a special contact with them it may be hard to understand that not only do we suffer the hurts, slings, and arrows of our own lives, but we do so doubly: every time those weapons are focused on our children.  In fact, I'd venture to say that we might have  managed being stood-up in the 10th grade, but when it happens to one of our teenagers, the slight hurts even more.  And  while our kids do not define who we are; they definitely define who we "be".  Simply put:  When the kids ain't happy, the parents ain't happy.


Let me be clearer.  We have a lot of joy in our lives.  Son and daughter-in-law are expecting a baby boy in January.  We laugh a lot with our three kids and enjoy their company; their humor.  As I've mentioned before, daughter #1, son, and DIL work for the family business so it's not like we have limited connections.  Shoot -- they all know the combination to the garage door opener!


Yesterday, my sweet, gorgeous 225 lb., EMT, hero of a son was reduced to tears.  He had had to put Hook, a sweet, retired thoroughbred horse, down.  Hook had been ailing, but when Michael went into his stall yesterday, Hook had lay down and was unable to get up.  It was time.  And not to be unduly gruesome, but when a horse is euthanized, it's not like you can flush them down the toilet so Michael and Jennie will be dealing with that today.  We feel for them both; us all.

15 comments:

Lena said...

And friends hurt for friends and their families. I cried when I read this.

I am so sorry for the loss of Hook, for Michael and all of of your family.

God Bless.

happyone said...

Oh that is a tough one!

Forsythia said...

So sad. Just read GROWING UP AMISH, a memoir by Ira Wegler, who eventually left that way of life. One of the most poignant chapters was about his having to put down his beloved horse as a young man.

Cheryl said...

That is sad! It hurts to see your kids hurting, as you said. Especially a grown man of a son.

Deb from WhatsInMyAttic said...

So sorry Kathy. Such a difficult loss. I know your heart breaks for them.

Betsy Banks Adams said...

Oh Kathy, That is HARD... I understand totally as a parent how you/we feel when one of our kids/grands hurt...

I know that was so hard on your son... We get so attached to our furry animals... God Bless him...
Hugs,
Betsy

Betsy Banks Adams said...

Oh Kathy, That is HARD... I understand totally as a parent how you/we feel when one of our kids/grands hurt...

I know that was so hard on your son... We get so attached to our furry animals... God Bless him...
Hugs,
Betsy

Sally Wessely said...

I can only imagine how hearts must be breaking in your family. I am sure this loss is one truly was devastating to your son. I'm so sorry.

Kimberly said...

Seeing our children cry as adults is heartbreaking. So sorry for the loss of their beloved Hook.

Kay said...

Oh no... I'm so sorry. This is so very sad.

Gilly said...

That's so sad! And it affects everyone in the family and otherwise close.

I've come to the conclusion you never stop being a mother!

Mage said...

I'm so very sorry.

George said...

It is always hard to put down a beloved animal, so I can imagine how your son felt. And I know that you hurt just as much for him.

Anonymous said...

How very sad for all of you to have to had bade farewell to Hook. Your son and Jennie bear his loss the most and I know you, as Michael's Mom must hurt deeply for him. It is one of the hardest things of being a parent...seeing and knowing that your child is hurting and not having anything to take the pain away.

lisa said...

i am so sorry about yr horse!! it is terrible. i thought ira w. in growing up amish was CRUEL to delay calling the vet for poor stud. i also think he was/is cruel in general. i don't feel he is sincere about repenting for all the hurt he has caused.