About Me

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I am a retired English teacher and department head, the mother of three, grand mother of three, and have been married to the same man for 42 years. I subscribe to Dr. PM Forni's concept of Civility. I was born in South Philadelphia and grew up in the 'burbs. I love soft pretzels and cheesesteaks, the Phillies, the Eagles, and San Diego. I love being Mom, Aunt Kathy, Nona Kathy, and Teacher. I spend a lot of time in my gardens in the spring and summer, and in the winter I plan what I'm going to plant. I also am an avid reader and photographer.

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Saturday, January 14, 2012

Que Sera Sera



We spent the day on Eastern Shore -- specifically at Kent Narrows for a pre-anniversary lunch.  Tomorrow, January 15th, we will be married 40 years.  Truthfully, I cannot believe this.  We talked a lot about why our marriage is so successful.  Initially, we couldn't come up with any reason but blind luck.  


But then we started discussing how friends of ours hated and were so very disappointed in a trip we absolutely loved, and we came up with this:  Some people have very unrealistic expectations about, well, EVERYTHING.  Aside from our both agreeing on some rather important basics like fidelity and respect, neither of us had ANY expectations.  If you had asked me 40 years ago if we would be married forever, I would have had no idea.  We wanted to be together and whereas I realized I could very well live without him; I didn't want to.  It hasn't all been roses; there's been quite a bit of fertilizer, but if I had it to do over again, I would in a heartbeat.

17 comments:

Linda said...

Very nice, and I agree. This year we will be married 50 years. Never thought we'd live long enough to see that.

Linda Reeder said...

Congratulations! And interesting analysis. I think you might me right about having too high expectations.
Tom and I are approaching 43 years together. But those years were made up of day to day partnership. We shared the work, the pain, the pleasure and our careers and interests. I couldn't have a better friend than my husband is.

Kimberly said...

Congrats to the both of you!

Cobalt Violet said...

Everything you said sounded like my parents and guess what else?! There anniversary is tomorrow! January 15th! 46 years. Maybe it's also something about the date!! ;)

Happy Anniversary and Congratulations!

Purple Flowers said...

Congratulations on your special wedding anniversary! I think it is an important collaborative effort to live successfully in a marriage. Our Minister said to us "Keep loving and laughing"

Congrutulations again, and many many more to come!
Sincerely,
Kathy

Kay said...

Congratulations on 40 successful years! We'll hit 40 next year and I agree that so much of it is really blind luck. We have been so lucky to be paired with a partner who was what we needed. Have a terrific celebration!

Tracy said...

Kathy,
What a great blog and congrats on being married for 40 years. I agree with you whole-heartedly about the expectations thing and I also thing some people just want to be miserable so they find things that are not, well, pleasant about life and the first target is their spouse.
Nice blog!

Retired English Teacher said...

Kathy, congratulations on your 40 years together. That is quite an accomplishment. I like what you said about expectations. One person can't be everything for another person. So many times, I think that in many marriages one person expects the other to fix everything for them emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

I also like what you said about fidelity and respect. If those two values are not in a marriage, it probably won't survive.

(GBS) NewsFromTheHill said...

Congratulations to you and your husband! I think that you're right about expectations.... sometimes in marriage you have to go with the flow!
Enjoy your celebration!
Grace

vanillabeanbaker said...

Sincere best wishes to you both on this beautiful milestone!

P.S. Everything grows great when well fertilized!

Deb from WhatsInMyAttic said...

ahhhh...the fertilizer.... I know of which you speak! It will be 40 years for us in July. It really is about expectations and being willing to look for the best in things rather than pick them apart looking for the "rotten spots." Congrats on your anniversary, and you were really, really close to us when you were at Kent Narrows! We'll have to meet sometime!

Mage said...

Congratulations. Yes, G and I near our thirty year anniversary, and sometimes I think this time together has been a miracle.

Cruises. Yes, Every time I've cruised, we have done the safety drill before leaving port. This last time, the drill was done without the life preservers. I felt that was an error.

Yes, too, it looks like Captain error for sure.

Mage said...

Mea culpa....I think I just left you a long not meant for someone else...but the congratulations. Those were meant for you she says hiding her head in the sand.

Gilly said...

Congratulations on staying together for 40 years! Quite a feat these days.

Have a lovely celebration - over here its a Ruby Anniversary -hope he gets you something appropriate!!

Susan @ A Slice of My Life said...

Happy Anniversary! I have to agree that it's not always easy (but what do I know, we're only coming up on 23) but I think it's well worth being with and loving someone so long.

Congrats again!

Palm Springs Savant said...

Happy Anniversary Kathy, 40 years certainly is a milestone! Inspiration to all.

KiraAJ said...

Wow 40 yrs thats fantastic! Happy Anniversary! Hubby n i just celebrated 10 lol seems like nothing compared to 40!! Congrats. Definately good advice! And i feel my hubby and i should take heed and apply that to our marriage! Sorry to hear that uve been ill and ur knee has been muckin up on u hoping ur feeling better soon and u can get ur knee in tip top shape!