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I am a retired English teacher and department head, the mother of three grand mother of four, and have been married to the same man for 48 years. I subscribe to Dr. PM Forni's concept of Civility. I was born in South Philadelphia and grew up in the 'burbs. I love soft pretzels and cheesesteaks, the Phillies, the Eagles, and San Diego. I love being Mom, Aunt Kathy, Nona Kathy, and Teacher. I spend a lot of time in my gardens in the spring and summer, and in the winter I plan what I'm going to plant. I also am an avid reader and photographer.

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Thursday, October 4, 2018

Changing the Issue

I am the proud (but tired) mother of two assertive daughters.  When the older of these two was a teenager, we worked hard learning not to change the issue.  We had to.  She did not suffer fools gladly and could be confrontational and very impulsive.

One time when she was announced as homecoming princess at an all-school assembly (I taught where the kids attended), a faction of the student  body who were disappointed their candidate didn't win, booed and jeered her loudly.  Melissa gave them the finger.  What those girls had done was unacceptable, but Melissa's actions (though justified) changed the issue, making it difficult to discipline those who acted wrongly in the first place. (We worked hard to practice the announcement to be again made at the homecoming football game.  Her dad and I would boo and jeer, and Melissa would smile and wave graciously.)

There are other examples, but my drift is clear.  Bad stuff happens.  People say and do socially inappropriate things.  It is our response, however, that is commensurately important.  

Anyone living through this political nightmare can see this firsthand.  The allegations are horrid.  The response to these allegations even more despicable, and have moved me to tears more than once.  Whether or not the accusations are true are no longer the issue.   What is now even more distressing is the callous, misogynistic senators’ attacks or dismissals the victim, the histrionic demeanor of the accused, and the disgusting response of a sitting president.  And as paramount as the original issue of sexual misconduct is, the greater and more distressing is now the response of those elected to represent us.

3 comments:

Linda Reeder said...

Yes.

Sally Wessely said...

Well said! Your response to your daughter was brilliant. She learned a very valuable lesson. One I am sure she was glad she learned at a young age.

This past few weeks have been horrifying. I have cried. I have raged. I have been upset to the point of not sleeping well. All of this has been unbelievable. Unbelievable.

Cynthia said...

Yours is a voice of sanity and civility. Yes!